Parenting…a privileged part of life. What a special term to remind yourself that no one chooses to be parents. We get to be parents. God gives this privilege to some, but it is not without great responsibility. The most popular subject that rises to the surface is ‘discipline’. Take a huge salad bowl. Throw in some tantrums, slamming doors, mud stains, messy rooms and half eaten sandwiches. Sprinkle some love and tears on top, and you’ll pretty much have an idea of what a parent’s day is like.
Yet, and this is the most important thing to remember, being a parent allows you to experience the joy of life. Let me be the one to tell you how special of an experience it was the first time the doctors held my daughter against my face. This blog might sound a bit mushy and too emotional, but I want you to know how important your job is. Children are borrowed and not given. Children are the property of God the Almighty. Just ask your doctor to check the Name Tag on their hearts. You are responsible for someone whom God has put in your care. Plainly said – we cannot mess this up.
So, when it comes to that popular subject ‘discipline’, what do parents usually default to as their reason for every standard? “Because I said so.” Right? Disciplining your children can take the fun out of this special privilege, but it is something that needs to be done the right way. I am usually obsessed with finding the ‘secrets of life’. It wasn’t until I met my Savior, Jesus Christ, that I realized where the secrets of life can be found. God’s Holy Word is exactly that! We all wish we had a life’s manual that could teach us how to live. Again, God’s Holy Word is exactly that! Here is what the ‘life’s manual’ says about children: But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them! For the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14.
I feel truly blessed to share the revelation about parenting that God gave me. “No more middle man”. I was watching a sermon on TV the other time which covered the subject of moral values and standards and the way we teach others. Believe it or not, we are all born with the ability to sense right from wrong. These are moral values and standards. From a very young age, we can sense that yelling at someone is wrong. Stealing in itself activates our conscience. It bothers us, even without knowing God. It is the parents’ responsibility to teach the reason for these morals to children. This is simple. God is the reason for these morals and these standards. I smiled at the scene in ‘God’s Not Dead’, where the student told the professor: “Without God, there is no reason to be moral.” Yes! We need to lay a solid foundation for our children to build their lives on. Jesus Christ is a solid foundation and the reason for every moral value.
Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of adversity come and the years approach of which you will say “I find no pleasure in them.” Ecclesiastes 12:1 Very clear to see that we shouldn’t start thinking about our Creator when we reach adult hood. It should start in our youth. Mothers and fathers all over the world start praying for their children while in the womb. Because…the days of adversity comes. “Because I say so” in every moment of discipline, seems like robbery when you can allow your children to learn about the God who made these morals.
The heading of this blog does not suggest that you should remove yourself and let God teach them. God gave this job to us. The revelation that God gave me suggests that I should remove my standards as a human and make way for God’s standards to enter the lives of my children.
Let me share a very personal story with you. We grew up in a home where we feared my Dad more than we feared God. Probably doomed if you were to disagree with him. We lived according to his standards, but never read the Bible as a family. There were huge consequences if we forgot a jacket at school, but never received consequences when we didn’t read the Bible. The day of receiving our report cards were feared more than the wrath of God. This might not have been their intentional parenting style. And I love them so much, but sometimes things get projected in the wrong way. Is it okay for parents to set standards in their home. Yes! Of course. There needs to be standards and boundaries. Humans thrive when rules are set. It does not harm them. The problem comes when the household is centered around the parents’ likes and dislikes, their standards, their moods and their opinions. Are we not supposed to bring our children up in the fear of the Lord?
This revelation hit me between the eyes… Does my daughter know why it is wrong to disrespect me? I need her to know that it is not because I am some VIP in our house, but that God wants us to respect leaders and in turn practice being humble; because it is the right thing to do! I don’t want to be the parent that doubts her intellectual ability to understand these things. It can only broaden her beautiful mind.
Now, I understand that some scenarios may make it difficult to do it. Imagine going to the store. Your 2 year old demanded a lollipop. You said no and now he is screaming at the top of his lungs out of blinding anger. You take him to the car and tell him: is this how a child of God acts? …Yup, it won’t work. Yet, when we stop undermining our kids ability to change, we can create a Christ-like environment. This means, allowing the Holy Spirit to work where you can’t. Allowing your children to feel their emotions, but allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you in helping your children work through these emotions with the fruits of the Spirit. You will be amazed how it affects symptoms of tantrums and every other side effect of overwhelming emotions.
Let me end this blog with a huge encouragement from God’s Holy Word: Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6. My prayer for you as a parent, is that you will sow the good seed on good soil. We plant, but God grows. Oh, how beautiful it will be to raise a true child of God!
Blessings!