I will never forget the day one of my friends introduced me to the idea of small victories. It was a small idea that had a huge impact on my life. At first, I did not think much of the idea. Until I did!
Life has so many challenges, dear friend. We all know it. We see it around us and we face it everyday. We also face rejection. Can I tell you who your worst enemy is? The one looking back at you in the mirror. I mean, that’s my story… Because I’ve always felt like I wasn’t enough for anyone. Everyone always expected something from me and expected me to be on top of my game 24/7. But when I peeled away all of those lies, I was left with the person who did all that – me.
A dear friend of mine, who now lives in the States, came to my house just to encourage me. She has also experienced many of my symptoms with regard to mental health and she wanted to help me with what worked for her. And her words were: “Focus on the small victories.” It basically meant that I needed to become satisfied with even the littlest of progress that I made. This could be pertaining to my life in general, the house, the kids, my marriage and anything that I was a part of at church. I needed to basically shift my view, if that makes sense.
But I knew that it was going to be almost impossible. Not only was I in the mindset of bigger is better, but I’ve been this way since I can remember. I did not want to be ‘ordinary’. I wanted to embark on a journey that could change the world! The Father-wound in me also thought that God was expecting so much from me. But I also understood that, if my life was going to change for the better, I needed to work very hard in letting go and celebrating even the smallest of progress.
Since receiving that advice, I think I’ve been doing much better. I held fast to something my mother always said: “How do we eat an elephant? Piece by piece.”
As you know, I am devoted to finding the intersection between psychology and faith. Because psychology isn’t wrong, but as Christians, we want to make sure that we are not living as though the Bible didn’t mean anything to us. The Word of God is, of course, the final authority. My question is then: how does ‘small victories’ fit into the Word of God? ‘Small victories’ is obviously an idea that works. But what about the Word of God? And there it was. Scriptures that helped me understood the character of God. And in His character, small victories are encouraged.
Proverbs 16:9 – A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. It is in the character of God to lead our steps and the steps in our life definitely needs guidance. I believe that through the power of the Holy Spirit, He guides us step by step in everything. A person may plan their whole life, like I did. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit came and led me in this life. It was the Holy Spirit that helped me slow down. He wasn’t planning out my entire life and giving it to me all at once. He was gracefully helping me each day and in every situation. I was so grateful for that calm.
Luke 5:16 – So He Himself (Jesus) often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed. This says ‘slowing down’ in a very special way. Special in the sense that Jesus did it Himself. Special in another way because He is leading us by example. It’s often very difficult for us to slow down in this way. Prayer is usually such a short time of our day, because we have to do so many other things. Jesus did not live His earthly life like that. He often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed. Prayer was obviously very important to Him. And it should be to us. And if we can slow down like He did for prayer, that’s already a victory. It’s about shifting our view from the fast and furious to gently withdraw ourselves to spend precious time in precious prayer.
Ephesians 2:10 – For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. True to God’s character, He doesn’t expect us to wake up one day and be completely changed and perfect. No. He is gently working in our lives. We are His workmanship. In my experience, God has always taken time to work in my life. Nothing has ever happened overnight. I am so grateful for this part of His character. Not only can I then be satisfied with the small victories, but I have the honor of watching how He works in my life, day by day. Truly, this says small victories more than anything else.
It’s not easy to focus on the small victories. But it’s true to God’s character. It creates calm. It creates lower expectations of ourselves and rips away those lies that we believed of our self. The victory in and of itself, is focusing on the small victories.
My experience with this has been life changing. Now, I am able to be satisfied with the smallest of progresses. I am not allowing the world to push me into the fast and the furious anymore. Or rather, I’m not pushing myself into it anymore. Making myself a cup of coffee is still me-time. Leaving the dishes to pray and be intimate with my Father is more than okay. Leaving the laundry to do Bible Study is a huge-small victory. Letting go of being supermom and just be the mom that God wants me to be, is such a blessing of calm.
You can truly shift your vision too. I know you can do it. It’s possible. Ask the Holy Spirit for help. He always comes through.
Blessings.
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