God Changed My Perspective On Marriage!

I am devoting this blog entirely to a personal testimony that I would like to share with you. I thank the Lord that He is helping me understand so many things, but this one is definitely one of the biggest.

Sometimes, you just know that God is leading you into a season where He needs you to understand some things. He doesn’t share these precious secrets when you start with your questions. He shares them when you are ready to hear them. Here I was. Sitting on my couch and crying my eyes out. Because, for the first time, I truly understood what marriage was.

For years, I’ve been struggling with huge doubt in my marriage. The good times did not out weight the bad times. I was questioning everything: “Who am I as a mom. Who am I as a wife. Am I supposed to lose myself in the process? Why isn’t my marriage making me happy? Am I doing something wrong? Why did I get married in the first place? Is this what marriage is like for everyone?” That is about as raw and honest as I can get. You know that you are in deep troubled waters when your prayer time is being devoted to the frustration you are feeling.

Through the years, I’ve had the privilege of understanding that God should be at the very top of your marriage, then your marriage will be fruitful. Yet, God led me to an even deeper understanding. Guess where He started? My own identity!

The only way I can make the reading process as easy as possible, is if I put my new perspective in point form. Some married couples might already know these things, but it blew my mind.

1. I wasn’t happy in my marriage, because I wasn’t content as a Christian.
2. I felt of little value to my husband, because I haven’t yet accepted my value in Christ.
3. I lost the basic value of being a Christian – having a servant’s heart. If I held on to this, I wouldn’t have complained about my workload as a mom and wife.
4. I forgot that marriage contains two DIFFERENT people. They should respectfully be on the same page. But I was forcing my spouse to be on MY page.
5. GOD LOVES MY SPOUSE MORE THAN I DO. He is a precious creation and I should be treating him that way.
6. Jesus Christ sacrificed Himself for a lying, cheating and sinful world. He died for our sins even though we did not deserve it. It can be pretty hard to treat your spouse with respect on the days they seem to deserve it the least. Christ is the example that your spouse should be treated with love and respect – even on the days they do not deserve it.
7. Our spouses might not be walking with Jesus or be on the spiritual level that we are. We are to continuously pray for them. We need to pray for ourselves for endurance as well. At the end of the day, their salvation is more important than our happiness. It is the ultimate goal and a selfless act.
8. God did not put me in my marriage to change my husband. Only God can do that. My motive for ministering in my marriage should be pure and not to mold my spouse into something I would be satisfied with.
9. If I want to change something in my marriage, I have to start with myself.
10. 1 Peter 3:1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives. – We are called to be the example of Christ to the world, but also in our marriages.
11. Marriages were never made for selfish gain, but it is a sacred covenant between man and woman. It should revolve around Christ-like values.

I’ve been married for five years now. I am learning as I go. I wish that someone would have given me these 11 points before I got married. It would have reduced my frustration and allowed me to enjoy my marriage more. Perhaps, there is a young wife out there in need of these points. I just know that there is more to learn and I am eager to do so.

Blessings!